What's Your Path?

This past week Grace and I attended two Bright Lights conferences, here in town.  One, called, Strong In The Lord, and the other, Radiant Purity.  I will admit, it was like a flash from the past when I walked in to the room of skirts, I was very familiar with the beliefs and values of these young ladies and their family, it was how I was raised.  While it is not how I have chosen to raise my family, I would be lying if I said I didn't wish that I had kept on that path in life.


While regrets, I believe are something Satan can use for real destruction, I think the Holy Spirit can also use them as tools to learn from.  In my life, I was given two godly parents that really did what was the opposite of the world's way of raising kids.  Homeschooling, the way we dressed, the movies and TV (or lack of) that we watched, even the music we listened to was different.  While I didn't agree with them most of the time growing up, I can now see as a parent myself in this very scary world we live in that it is hard to be lights in the darkness.  And I even wish that they had said, "no", more than they did (I seriously can't believe that is true!).  My regrets are from way back when I was a teenager and I chose not to listen to my parents teaching.

This was Grace's first experience to be around young ladies like these.  Even though we home schooled for a few years, she was never exposed to these high standards of living.  I was so surprised at her eagerness to learn and her excitement to do something different than the way the world does it.  She picked up a few books that actually took me off guard a little, not the book, but her interest, one was "Before You Meet Prince Charming", a book all about keeping yourself pure for your husband, not only sexually, but in every way...the first touch, the first kiss, your heart.  That is such a radical way of thinking for girls today.  Having not lived this out, I know the pain that goes along with giving these things away to the wrong guy.  It is a painful lesson that I continue to suffer through, and I would never wish for my daughters.

Sarah Malley said this week, "My will for my life would be the same as God's will for my life, if I could see the big picture".  I think that is so true, obviously looking back we can see things a lot clearer, I know I can.  And I am now saddened by choices that I have made that were definitely not God's will for me.  This is not to say that I am somehow not blessed by God now in my life, or I wish for things that I do not have, but I do wish that I had not wasted so many years of my life not serving Him in everything I did, it grieves me to think of the people that I did not share with, the ripple effect that my life has had in negative ways by my actions when I was not living the way He wanted me to.

Something else that Grace shared with me this week was her desire to be a witness at her school, she even got a book and CD to help her learn the best ways to do that and a packet of all different kinds of tracts to give out.  I am so proud of her for making the commitment to be a light in the darkness, and I am going to be praying for her daily that she can do that.

This morning, I took the kids to the church that I grew up in.  I have run into the pastor, Casey Ingold several times in the past year, I attend MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) there, and I honestly kept feeling a tugging from the Holy Spirit to visit there, I had also messaged Pastor Casey's, wife, who I knew previously from MOPS, and got the "scoop" on CBC now.  Rob and I have talked about it a few times, and we had decided to try it out a few months ago, but with his work schedule we really haven't been able to go anywhere together as a whole family.

Today, I decided was the day that the kids and I would try it out though, and of course, Faith and Grace's allergies were acting up and I almost decided to stay home, but something told me I really needed to be there this morning.  It was a pain to get out the door alone with 4 kids, but we made it (on time, even!).  Like I had said before, this is the church that I grew up in, the only church my family ever went to.  And there are a lot of people that still attend there that I know, but what caught me a little off-guard was all the people that I did not know and how welcoming everyone was.

We have visited a few churches in the past year trying to find a fit for our family, with not a lot of luck, quite honestly, we have not felt welcomed anywhere else that we have visited, and the kids have felt like outsiders, even when we have visited several times.  This has really burdened my heart.

This morning when Pastor Casey started in with his sermon, I was amazed by his honesty.  His topic was Urgent and Unashamed Ambassadors, he spoke with such conviction and inspiring enthusiasm.  He is not one that just steps on toes gently, just to have us contemplate our lives, he is STOMPING on the toes of the lukewarm Christian, causing us to rethink our commitment to Christ and where we really stand when push comes to shove.  Challenging anyone in a comfort zone of faith to get uncomfortable and MOVE into action.  This was just the message I wanted to hear this morning, it was just what I was talking to Rob about last night, about wanting our family to be a light in this darkness.

After service, my kids were introduced to some of the kids that attend there and were whisked away to Sunday School, afterwards, each of them asked me if we could come back next week.  This has not happened before.  Grace was so excited about their youth group and felt like she could really fit in there.  I felt like all my prayers for a church home were being answered this morning.  Praise the Lord!

Something that struck me after Pastor Casey spoke was, just like I was thinking about the negative ripple effect that my disobedience to God has had, who was or is supposed to be sharing their with the gunman or would-be gunman?  As much as we hate to think of being like someone who could do something so evil, he is human, WE are human.  That was his path he chose to follow, what is our path that we choose to follow?  Do we keep our faith to ourselves, do we choose to keep silent, when thousands around us die without knowing their Savior, is that our path?  That is not my path, that is not my family's path.