Stuff

I had a low point the other day. I went to the storage unit that we were loaned to look for something that Rob needed. I haven't been there since the first load and I didn't know what all was in there. I had it in my head that it must be so full you couldn't walk in there hardly because the house is so empty, and since the house is so empty it all must be there. My heart sank as I opened that storage unit, aside from the kitchen cabinets and our bikes it was pretty much empty! I don't know why this surprised me so much, I guess I was just kind of living in denial over what was lost. I even thought to myself during service when they were saying "...the Ball family that lost everything in the flood..." that was a little dramatic, we didn't loose EVERYTHING. I think it smacked me in the face, we did loose everything. Our stuff at least. Well, I was grieving - again over this "stuff". My precious sewing machine that I was given for Christmas when I was 12 and my new Rowenta iron that totally rocked, for my birthday this year, "but, it's stuff" says my loving husband. And I know this in my head, and it still stings. I didn't realize the attachment I had to some stuff, weird stuff I guess, but also some normal stuff too, Zach's baby bed, for instance. I am so glad the kids are not going through the loss of all their stuff, I would hate for them to go through that. I was reading my magazine, "MOM Sense", it's a MOPS magazine and the story in it about The Toy Bin Crisis hit home with me, except not maybe like you'd think, but the last paragraph goes kind of like this, "I cry out, "It's my favorite stuff!" and even if I don't like it I have to imagine God saying, "I've got some great stuff in store for you, but first you've got to un-clutter your life and dump the trash." Even before the flood I had this overwhelming need to scale back and simplify, we had donated a lot of "extra" things around the house, and somehow it seems like there is a reason for all this "de-cluttering". A little extreme I feel, but He knows what's best! Well, as Rob and I and all our friends and family are putting the house back together and I am trying to make it a home again somehow, I am trying to picture us there again without our stuff and I think that's okay, I think us being there will make it home enough for me.