To Fear or Not To Fear

The weather began to warm up on Sunday and Monday and I started to panic, the snow had finally melted and on Monday I thought it may pour rain from the dark clouds above. Now, you may think, no big deal, but since the flood, last May, I dread the rain, not only dread it, fear it, especially in this house. It is not a rational fear that our house would flood again, it hadn't happened in 100 years previously, I think it is just when you experience something so horrible, I just fear it anyway.
I have prayed about it, given it to God on a daily basis and I still have this anxiety and fear. I have begged and pleaded with God to allow us to move away from here as soon as possible, to no avail so far, or is it? Our flip house still has not sold, it has actually been "sold" three times and fallen through for all different reasons that we could not control. So, my question-is this God's answer to my prayer? But keep in mind that we have been praying for the flip house to sell too. A couple of days ago, I even caught myself making a deal with God, "If You would please just move us from this place, I'll stay wherever You put us for as long as You want, just please move us from this place!" I stepped back, almost in disbelief, is it that bad? I have questioned my faith in God, His protection of us, at least, it is so difficult. I hear a "Trust Me" come out of heaven (I'm sure) and I fire back "I have been, I did then, and we lost everything! Well, not everything, but God, IT HURTS!" Praying for peace everyday, giving it to Him, why do I still fear?
When it rains, I have this horrible nightmare, pretty consistantly too, which is even worse. I dream that I wake up to the sound of dripping water (again) and I get out of bed and splash into water above my waist, I hurry to Zach's nursery to get him out, and when I get to his dark, water-filled, and freezing cold room, he is lying in his bed, under water, and has already drowned. There is this intense emotion of pain all through my body, I wake up with a horrible jump, and let me tell you, I do not want to go back to sleep after that! I search scripture for words about fear and I find no comfort in them.
This is "the valley", no doubt of that, I fear no evil, but could someone please direct me to the nearest hill even!

A seven year old serious discusion

At dinner the other night my niece, Joy, who is 7 asked me a very thoughtful question,

(Joy) "How did it feel when you got your hair cut?"
(Me) "How did it feel, do you mean emotionally or physically?"
(Joy) "Emotionally"
(Me, as straight-faced as possible) "Well, I tell ya, Joy, it was hard, I really miss my long hair too, but when I think about the little girl or boy who got a wig because I gave my hair, I feel better"
(Joy) "The sick ones (kids)?"
(Me) "Yep"
(Joy, with fluctuation) "Oh! Okay!"

Apparently, this was a good enough answer to satisfy her curious mind, and I have to say, I don't think I ever would have considered the question myself. She's a deep one, that little girl, more sensitive than I ever knew too!

Alarm

This morning something happened that has not happened in a long time! I awoke to this kind of buzzing/beeping noise, and it was coming from my nightstand! Bleary eyed, I looked toward the still shreaking noise and there it was, my alarm clock was going off, at 6:45 am! Now, the bizzare part of this is not that it was set or that it went off really, it was that I was not already up and about my day! Zach has been getting his molars in for awhile now and before that he had a head cold that kept waking him up (it's hard to sleep when you're trying to suck on a pacifier and you're nose is stuffed up!), and in turn waking me up too! My amazement in this event is that I didn't even recognize the sound of that horrible noise because it had been so long that it had been given the chance to be the one wake me up! All in all, I got to sleep in this morning, at least a whole 1/2 hour longer than the "norm" has been lately!

Bailey's Gift

Today the kids and I went to meet my niece's bus. Bailey and Joy came bounding of the bus from their 100th day of school! Bailey was especially excited to tell us all about it! She told us about the "really great' necklace that she had made from Fruit Loops and Life Savers and that she wanted to give it Ethan. Awe, how sweet, right? Yes, she was very proud of this necklace and informed Ethan that he could not eat it! Well, Ethan immediately said that he wanted to eat it! Then the ugly truth, Bailey fessed up, she dropped in on the floor three times while she was making it, so now it couldn't be eaten!

PS. Ethan ate it anyway!!!!

Dishes

One of Keith's chores at our house is to unload the dishwasher, and his shadow, Zach, has been helping. He loves to mimic, and this is no different, it's just so much fun for him! He stands on the door to reach the top rack and sets things that he can't put away on the counter, I've never seen anything like it! He does have his own little "touch" he likes to throw in there. I mean that literally, he can't quite reach the silverware drawer so he launches them up into it, usually with pretty good aim too, but of course he does not fail to "taste-test" each piece before he sends it flying, yes, you got it, he licks each piece of silverware! It is hysterical, so the trick to preventing this is to put his "plug" in while he "helps" put the dishes away! The amazing thing is, he actually does know where each of the dishes go! The baby latches on the cabinets are just a nuisance now, watch out Zach likes chores, everything, clean (sort of) and in it's place! Let me just tell you, I kid you not, when he makes a mess on the floor, he's the one running for the broom and dustpan! Do you ever get the feeling your baby understands more than you're giving him credit for? Is someone throwing food on the floor for a reason?

Say What?

Grace was talking to her Nana on the phone while Nana was on her way back to Colorado, she couldn't wait to tell her that the report that she helped her research on the computer last night was graded today and she got an A+! She went on talking about how she was so glad they were graded today and she couldn't have waited to see what she got, then Nana hit an area with bad reception in western Kansas, and Grace exclaimed, "Nana, I think you're breaking up with me!"

Cookies and Clocks

Our home schooling is going well, first week, I was so happy with, second week, was more like I thought the first week would be, but we still did well. Ethan insists that we don't "do school", we "just play". Which I laugh at and I am perfectly okay with him believing that, I am using all his interests to teach him, and we are learning with his learning style in mind, so it really seems to be working well.
Ethan is in so many ways, your average boy, and in other ways, well, he just blows my mind! Take cookies for example, we baked, he loved it, he is very precise and careful to do a good job (If I could get his penmanship going that way-we'd be gold!). Reaping the benefits of course, were these oh-so-good cookies that he was very proud of and were enjoyed by our family over the next few days. Taking pride in his work, check, accomplished!We also made a clock this week, and we are working on learning to tell time. This is a bit more of a struggle, but having something he made, that he can use seems to work well for incentive. I have plans to make a wooden one with a working clock face later this year with him.
My favorite part I think is hearing my son recite scripture, and not just a simple verse, but one with some "meat" to it, what an awesome thing to hear from his lips!
I love having Ethan home, Zach took a bit to adjust sharing Mommy, but he likes it now too. I think we're going to just fine, Whew!

Report Card

I am going to shout it out! Grace got straight A's!!!! We are so proud of her! Yeah Grace!

Miniature House

Keith had a project at school, he had to build a structure, to scale. Yes, I was very excited! We had a great time putting it together. Real bonding, you know. Anyway, if this doesn't get him an A, well, I will have to talk to that teacher! He does good work! It has wood flooring in the Kitchen/Dining room, wallpaper throughout, trim around doors and windows and baseboards that we made from craft sticks and craft paper. I was kind of surprised that Keith enjoyed it so much, he wanted to do more on it, like a flat screen on the wall and a little toilet (things important to him!), but we really didn't have the time. It did take us nine hours to put together. All fun though! I think Keith's favorite part was the landscaping actually, he was very particular. It looks great, you can tell he thought about it.

Memory Verse

I am choosing a memory verse every week for us to memorize, I am surprised at how hard it is to choose one each week, there are so many I would love have the kids memorize, but, one at a time I guess!

This unit our character quality that we are studying is Alertness, so the verse God has given me is

Matthew 26:41

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak.

This concept of knowing what is right and still making the wrong choice is such a struggle for a curious five year old boy, who am I kidding, it's a struggle for all of us!

Home School

Many may know that I was home schooled from the third grade on, but maybe you didn't know that. As a Mom now, I know why my parents chose this for me and my siblings, there are such amazing experiences and values we gained from that time in our lives, knowledge that I draw on, on a daily basis, and not just scholastically. I have voiced my frustration of the public school system and my disapproval of many of the influences there, so now, I am going to do something about it! All the kids have had their struggles in one area or another and I am determined to learn to teach them each in their own learning style and instill the values and principles important to living a godly life.
We got ourselves registered with the state and Ethan is the first one to stay at home. We began yesterday, and I have to say, it went very well, he is very excited. Grace is anxious to start, and Keith is skeptical. I am going to use a unit study approach and see how that works for us, this first unit study is Little House on the Prairie, we are reading the book by Laura Ingalls Wilder, of course, but we are also going to study one room school houses, log cabins, and other aspects of that time in our Kansas History. Our animal that we are studying is the Wood Plains Bison, and wouldn't you know there is an entire herd living nearby that we are going to go see even!
We have chosen to use the year-round schedule for education, it just seems to offer more flexibility and I think it will just fit into our lives a little better, plus there isn't the time of review necessary after the long summer break.
Talk about your adventures, this may be the biggest one yet, time for school!

Nana's Gifts

Homemade gifts are so great! My Mom made each of the grand kids a quilt for Christmas this year. Each one is unique and perfect for each kiddo! They were soooo exited, as you can see in the pictures!

Papa's Birthday Party

Christmas

Time to get get caught up! We left for Mom and Dad's with my Mom and Dad on Christmas Eve, drove our 9 hours to get to their home and spent the next week in their wonderland of snow! It snowed Christmas Day-all day, and more in the next few days after! A perfect Christmas morning! What more could you ask for than a snowy mountain range view for Christmas vacation? My sister, her husband and their two girls surprised us and came early to be with us on Christmas day! That was such a wonderful surprise! My littlest sister came on Christmas day and my older brother and his girlfriend came the next day.
There was a new toy that all the guys enjoyed immensely, the Wii (of course)! And their was after Christmas sales to see for us ladies! We played games, almost constantly and my Mom and Dad's six grand kids made themselves right at home and had a glorious time! Nana had found new dress up clothes at a garage sale since they were last there, including a wedding gown, and the girls went nuts!
And as for the aforementioned girlfriend...this is a new development in our family, Nick has never brought home anyone before! We are very excited and we wonder if he loves her yet because we've fallen head over heals for her! No pressure of course! She kicked our behinds in Nerts and in movie trivia, she cleans up, basically, you want to be on her team! Yes, she had us at "NERTS!"
Sledding was a must in all that powder! We had so much fun! Andrea ran into our truck after going down the hill and across the street, and I hit a bump, went flying in the air and landed flat on my back! If ouch is what you're thinking, you are right, and that was just the first trip down the hill! My Mom claims that there is video of this on her camera, if so, I will definitely post it for a laugh!
Above is our semi-annual Kemper Family photo. That's the whole gang!